How to watch TV/Movie Adaptations when you’ve already Read the Books

We’ve all met one. You can’t watch “Game of Thrones,” “Lord of the Rings,” “Harry Potter,” or even “The Help,” without encountering one. That’s right. People who have read the book version first, and need to let you know about it. I’ve studied these people for years, in the cinema, at my friends’ houses, through the shrubs in the park, in the boot of their car, and at the top of that Ferris wheel at the carnival. As far as I can tell, this is how to watch TV or movie adaptations when you have already read the books first. In other words, how to be that person that everyone hates.

1. Subtly, (but assertively) inform your friends that you have read the books. They need to know that you are an intellectual being that does higher order things like read.
2. Whenever a character appears, tell them how you imagined the character to be, how the casting people got it wrong, and recite the passage from the book that describes the character.
3. Remind them that you read the books before watching this adaptation. They may have forgotten. They aren’t very smart. They haven’t read the books, after all.
4. When a key scene is about to come up, tap your friends on their shoulders excitedly and tell them that this part is going to be awesome. You know, because you’ve read the books, and they haven’t.
5. Did you tell them that you read the books? Better tell them again, just to be sure. Ignore angry glares from your friends.
6. Every now and then say “Oh man, just like in the book! Yeah!” Smile smugly as more people glare at you. They’re just jealous.
7. Grow nervous as your friends angrily gather around you.
8. Plead with your friends as they carry you  away from the TV and towards the door. Remind them that you have read the books. That will calm things down.
9. Oh shit man, they’re really pissed. Dave’s got you in a headlock and you’re starting to cry. Try and squirm out of it. Didn’t Tyrion squirm out of something in the book? Probably.
10. So they’re thrown you out. That’s ok. Get some ice cream and go home. You still have your books.